By the Rev. Canon Heather L. Melton, staff officer for the United Thank Offering
Twelve years ago, an episode of “Parks and Recreation” aired that created a new holiday: Galentine’s Day. If you’re unfamiliar with the term (Merriam Webster lists it as a word they are watching to add to the dictionary), it is a holiday to celebrate friendships on Feb. 13. The show created it to specifically celebrate female friendships and brunch, but it has grown to be a moment to celebrate our friends. I remember first learning about this years after the episode aired and thought that it was a great idea. Our friends are so very important to us, and having a moment that celebrates those relationships is a vital way to keep them healthy. Especially during the pandemic, we know that friendships have suffered, and people are experiencing loneliness at excruciatingly high rates. Perhaps this February is a time to reignite celebrating those people we are profoundly grateful to be connected with.
Back in elementary school, I remember poring over the display of Valentine’s Day cards at our grocery story. I remember really looking at each box and thinking about what image best represented me, but also which one would bring the most joy to my friends. Valentine’s Day, for children, is often a celebration of friendship. Who doesn’t remember toiling over your cards to assign the right pre-printed message to the right person? Telling someone we love them, that we are grateful for the love they show us, sometimes feels like a process we have to get exactly right. However, what we learned in elementary school is that it ultimately doesn’t matter, as long as everyone gets a card. Everyone wants to feel loved and special and to see their contributions to the community acknowledged.
So what do Galentine’s Day and elementary school Valentine’s have to do with anything? I think they are reminders of how desperately we need to be reminded we are loved and needed as human beings, and that is precisely what gratitude is all about. Gratitude is about acknowledging the gifts around us. Many of you have heard me tell the story of Fr. Vincent Donovan, who wisely taught that when we say thank you, we are really saying “my love to your love” because we cannot return the kindness and love given to us, we can only receive it and acknowledge it. So this month, let’s say thank you and share some love, in the hopes it becomes a habit that we carry into the rest of the year.
This February, we at the United Thank Offering, want to encourage you to consider all the people and places and ways that you encounter love, and give thanks for them. And while it may sound silly, gratitude begins at home. It’s time to do better about loving ourselves, especially because Jesus tells us to love our neighbor as ourselves, and if we aren’t doing a good job of loving ourselves, how will we ever love others? What ways do you show love to yourself? It can be as small as a nightly cup of tea and some quiet, to something as big as taking yourself on an adventure. Bubble baths, reading silly novels, playing golf, learning something new, indulging in something you reserve only for special occasions—whatever it is, do something for yourself as a sign of love and gratitude.
We want you to turn your attention to your family—is there a meal you cook that is a way you show love to them, or is it by cleaning the house or taking out the trash? We often show love to our family in innumerable ways that simply help keep things running, but let’s celebrate those and name them. If we are receiving those acts from others, let’s make sure we give thanks for those tiny moments of love shed all around us. Let’s share the love and gratitude with our friends, let’s send them silly valentines, or share brunch (safely), or schedule time to really talk to each other again. Let’s find ways to show love to our community, from picking up a piece of trash we would normally step over, to volunteering, to dropping off food where it is needed. Let’s spread the love to people who have kept the world turning—grocery store workers, teachers, healthcare workers, food delivery people, sanitation workers, and so on. There is love to go around. Chalk the sidewalks around your home; spread the love.
It might seem silly or simple, but this February, if we could all commit to an act of love each day, that’s 28 messages of love to a world that is desperately looking for some love. You can spend a week on yourself, a week on your family, a week on your friends and neighbors, and a week on your community. Just a moment each day to remember you are loved and so are they. When you take a moment to notice something and give thanks for it, you spread love like a salve on the woundedness of the world or your own heart.
I am thankful for each and every one of you. I know the Herculean efforts many of you have undertaken over the past few years, and I love you for it. So let’s have a little fun and spread the love, and give thanks for all the ways we spread love, sometimes without even realizing that’s what we are doing.