By Myra Garnes
As the school and ministry year begins, parents and adults of all generations face the challenge of preparing children for more than just academic success. In a world where political tensions, racism, xenophobia, a climate crisis, sexism, homophobia, and classism are prominent, teaching kindness and fostering a sense of beloved community is essential.
We, as people of faith, are often well poised and prepared to rattle off Scriptures that remind us of this virtue of kindness. We know to “do justice, and love kindness, and walk humbly with your God” (Micah 6:8). The apostle Paul directs us to “be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ has forgiven you” (Ephesians 4:32).
Kindness is more than a simple act; it is a way of being that promotes empathy, understanding, and respect. Kindness takes work, commitment, sacrifice, action, and a willingness to sit in discomfort. Most people in our country and the world (and even in our pews) are not willing to place our opinions, convictions, and perspectives aside long enough to listen, take a moment to understand, or change course in our thinking, desires, or motives. The tragedy of this is that our children are listening and watching.
I had two recent encounters with young people who called out adults for harmful and malicious behavior. My nephew just finished fourth grade and is becoming keenly aware of the political unrest in our country. He was troubled that classmates and teachers talked about some candidates and political leaders using derogatory words. He asked, “How can my friends and their parents support someone who is unkind?” We teach our children from a young age to love everyone, yet they are now witnessing the ease with which we tear one another down.
It was an honor to support and learn from the Official Youth Presence leading up to and during the 81st General Convention this summer in Louisville. They built an amazing youth community, one that celebrated diversity, mutual support, and respectful disagreement. While the youth remarked about the power of church governance and inspiring ministries, they noted some adults acting in ways that appeared messy, unkind, and hurtful. Is it just me who feels embarrassed and heartbroken when young people cannot count on us as adults to be leaders and role models for what beloved community truly is supposed to be?
We must figure out how to navigate difficult conversations with true kindness and respect as we move toward a tension-filled fall. Here are some suggestions:
- In an article titled “The Day After,” Lauryn Mascareñaz offers several strategies for teachers anticipating the period immediately following the presidential election. Published in 2016, it remains timely and can easily be adapted to our homes, churches, places of employment, and communities.
- The Episcopal Church’s Office of Government Relations has organized a plethora of resources at Vote Faithfully Election Engagement. Find podcasts, get-out-the-vote strategies, tools for addressing political violence, training on civil discourse, and much more.
School may not be a place where young people can learn about civic engagement and participate in safe open discussions that value diverse perspectives while teaching them to listen actively and respectfully to others. However, our churches could be a place where we lead by example, supporting children and youth in building the skills to be humans who embrace diversity, value kindness and empathy for others, and strive for beloved community.
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Canon Myra Garnes is the officer for Youth Ministries serving on the presiding bishop’s staff.