Mark 10:35-45
By: Christopher Esposito-Bernard
I have a confession to make. I think there are a lot parts of the Bible that are hilarious, and sometimes I get in trouble for laughing at bits of scripture when other people feel like it’s inappropriate. There are lots of examples of this, but today’s meditation happens to be one of those passages.
In one version of the story, James and John go up to Jesus and ask to sit at his left and right hands. In another, their mom asks for them. There’s a lot of cultural stuff to unpack, but here’s how my imagination makes this story unfold.
I imagine Jesus, the twelve, and few others were making their way down to Jerusalem when James and John started bickering.
“John, you go ask him. You’re his favorite.”
“I won’t be his favorite for long if I go, will I, James?!”
I imagine that they went on like this for some time before their mother felt compelled to intervene.
“Jesus, my dear Messiah, the person who made both of my sons something every mother dreams of, sweet bubala. Will you resolve something for me? Will you put a mother’s heart at peace? Will you put John, your favorite disciple, and his brother, who’s working really hard at being your other favorite, at your left and right hands?”
I imagine that when James and John actually heard her say these words out loud, it would have struck a chord with them, unifying their response of, “MOM!”
Then, I envision Jesus looking at John, then to James, and then back to John, with an expression of being dumbfounded. Well, as dumbfounded as the Son of God can get.
And then, after taking a deep breath, and perhaps with a bit of pity in his eyes, Jesus would have said these words, “You do not know what you are asking.”
To their credit, they really didn’t know what they were asking. They didn’t know that baptism was about death and then resurrection or that the bread had to be broken or the wine would have to be spilled. They didn’t know that Jesus was walking into his death. They didn’t know that James would become a martyr or that John would be imprisoned or any of the things we know now that turns this humorous interaction into a something prophetic and agonizing.
But rather than fixating on the cost of what Jesus was about to do, the other disciples enter the story and they are pissed. Just like brutes fighting over the last piece of chicken, eagerly trying to win the affection of their teacher, they lose sight of what Jesus was saying, “Whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be slave to all.”
And even now, as the weight of His words settles in, have we really gotten it? Do we really know what we are asking for when we lift up our prayers?
Far too often, we simply respond to what we think we need in the moment, and far too often that response is selfish or harmful or naive or ungracious or just rude. Sometimes, the very act of asking for our own sake can be so unloving because it can grate on this call for us to be last, to serve.
In my better moments, I remember not to laugh and miss out on what Jesus is saying. But when I do, I find that confession grounds me in the humility I hope will one day be grafted into my very essence. And with humility, I hope wisdom will one day come.
Let us pray:
Almighty God, our heavenly Father: We have sinned against you, through our own fault, in thought, and word, and deed, and in what we have left undone. For the sake if your Son our Lord Jesus Christ, forgive us all our offenses; and grant that we may serve you in newness of life, to the glory of your name. Amen.